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Submitted on
October 5, 2012
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And when the sun sinks, the earth's skin crawls:


I.
I wonder if this awkward creature would notice me the way I notice him.
He's so tragic at his throne
I stare after him longingly.
And yet,
He never realizes that I'm the one
Who forever basks in his brilliant beams.
If only he knew how much brighter he could burn
[with me]
He'd light up the universe.




II.
I heard him speak of thirst, once.
The quenching lust of the stars had run dry.
So that night, I brought along a jar of acid.
(And how it gleamed in his glow).
I handed it to him, wrapped in taffeta ribbons,
screaming
I wish curdling joy
On my gurgling boy


   I love his eyes, now
   Clouded white like milk from a poisoned tree  
   And his throat,
   Swollen and clotted
   And his lips blue as the
   faded heavens
   I try to get him to laugh but
   His body is stuck and
   his bones
   almost fossilized  


And so the poor beast stands paralyzed
While his children rise out of the sea
       enormous wings crackling outwards,
     a new patch of life as
         the soil becomes thick with blood.



III.
When the sun sinks, the earth's skin crawls;
hyper-responsive circuitry
Retrieving, coiling up quickly,
from flowers to the bones of birds-
closing and caving inwards.


A pompous toast to my man in the sky
Drown the last of us but,
You can never give them the thrill
the shriek
the climatic jolt  

that I could.
There wasn't any musical inspiration for this Pfft! I never write in silence.
[link]


I only divided it into parts because it was easier for me to read, and I wanted to be all hoity-toity like those fancy poets.

Does the sudden change of tenses in II. bother you? I'm uncertain.

I kinda had fun with this one.
-
and would like to know how I can improve it.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-10-15
earth circuit by ~IyraEMM ( Featured by Beccalicious )
:iconecholalic-ellie:
Echolalic-Ellie Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I adore that opening line.
Reply
:iconiyraemm:
IyraEMM Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you very much :heart: i'm glad you do
Reply
:iconecholalic-ellie:
Echolalic-Ellie Feb 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Most welcome.
Reply
:iconsutathewolf:
Sutathewolf May 29, 2013  Student General Artist
I loved this, the imagery was fantastic. Like it was dripping off the page and becoming something real. The first line hooked me in instantly. <3
Reply
:iconiyraemm:
IyraEMM May 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ahh :eager: that makes me happy! Thanks very much for reading!
Reply
:iconsutathewolf:
Sutathewolf May 30, 2013  Student General Artist
You're welcome! Thank you for writing such wonderful words! <3
Reply
:iconiyraemm:
IyraEMM May 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Don't thank me, it's lots of fun :D
Reply
:iconsutathewolf:
Sutathewolf May 31, 2013  Student General Artist
:)
Reply
:iconlightningidle:
LightningIdle Mar 31, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I didn't notice the tense change, actually; I thought it was handled very smoothly. Excellent work, nice and dark! :D
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